Addicted to Apps...Because iHaveNoFriends

iDunno writes:

I love my iPhone, especially because it is officially better than the blackberry curve (what losers are still using that old thing anyway?). It’s so pretty, but now that everyone is jumping on the bandwagon, I need to make my phone stand out more. What can I do to set it apart from everyone else’s without using a tacky old plastic or rubber cover?

My response:

I can see why you're uber-obsessed with your iPhone: you clearly have no one to talk to so you validate yourself with the knick-knacky-ness of your apparatus. The bright colors and smoothness of it, must make quite the companion. This is a tool that you really see as more of a friend or a loved one; a portal to the outside world, if you will.

You cherish your contrivance and wish to show your appreciation by dolling her up, which is a rare and beautiful gift to bestow. I imagine you've already named the device so I'd recommend dressing her accordingly. For instance, if she's a Gwen, give her a pomp and a form fitting wife-beater. If she's a Beyonce, give her an electric boo-tay and some flashy heels. Or maybe she's a Fergie and needs some booty shorts and a face lift. In any event, I'm positive you'll know how to proceed once you've properly identified her personality.