Wednesday, June 3, 2009

In Xanadu, did Kublai Khan, a stately pleasure dome decree...

Lost in Tiki Land writes:

My coworker is on vacation. For two weeks to be exact. She is in Hawaii, so we have changed her office into our very own Tiki Lounge and will even have Shirley Temples. My problem is that I'm becoming a little too attached to this lounge. Yesterday I sat in there for 10 minutes just to escape the work life. Today there will be more breaks in there. I felt like I was on a mini-vacation and it was a little bit of paradise for my soul. What should I do when she comes back? I'm afraid she won't appreciate the Tiki Lounge magic and what a place of comfort and happiness it has become. Please advise me on how to deal with the situation and my attachment to the delightful room that is full of colorful Tiki Hawaiian life!

My Response:

This certainly does sound like a treat and I only see one option working for you; you must plan a coup against this tropical traveler and get her fired before she returns thus eliminating the unfortunate demise of your in-office getaway. Here's a step-by-step of how to proceed:

1) Remind your co-workers of all of the awful things she's ever done to them (embellishments are encouraged)
2) Start refering to her in the past tense, as if she already no longer worked there.
3) Slowly remove her personal items from her office.
4) Throw casual get togethers in her office, but only refer to it as the Tiki Lounge.

and for the coup de gras,

5) Erase everyone's hard drive and be sure the blame falls directly on the absent abandoner.

This is a sure fire way to keep your much needed and well-deserved lounge. Enjoy!

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