My co-workers are slobs, and it's in my job description to clean the kitchen. I've tried complaining to HR but she is the messiest one! What should I do? (Do you have any need for an assistant?)
Well, in my humble opinion, you get what you asked for. I mean, any job that has "kitchen duty" written in the job description should raise every red flag that you're gonna be working with pigs of the Swine Flu variety. Given this economy, I'd say you're stuck, but that doesn't mean you can't be a little "organized."
If your office is small enough, inform your co-workers that you've decided to add structure to your life as an effort to enhance your personal timeliness and growth. With that in mind, you'll be posting a log that evaluates your "Kitchen Duty." For example, when tracking dishes, mark the amount of dishes you do and to whom the offending dishes belong to and as a bonus, add the degree of filth dishes were left in by using a scale of 1-10 (instead of stars or numbers, use small pictures of smelly piles of poo for added emphasis). Post these logs all over the kitchen and then quarterly, publish a report for your coworkers to peruse, detailing your triumphs over specific messes.
Be sure to thank everyone for their cooperation in your humble pursuits and that you look forward to continual growth with them.