Miscreants in the Workplace

Lacking Authority writes:

What should I do when my boss leaves me in charge for the day and then no one listens to me? Today someone was even painting her nails while on the clock! Please help me!

My response:

Remember you grade school days when your teacher was out sick and the unwitting substitute was called in? This is much the same situation; but in your case worse. When a substitute faces a room full of those left in her charge, at the end of the day, she gets to go home and forget all about their miserable, little faces. In your case, your boss has left you in charge, not to show how much he appreciates your hours of endless laboring and dedication in the office, but more of a back handed slap across your face--knowing full well, the wiliness of his crew. It'd be in your best interest to show that office that you mean business! Take the bull by the horns and lay down the law. Make them work late, while you leave early; Give them your workload on top of their own; and as for that no-mannered manicurist, Make her scrub the floors until her knuckles bleed and then she'll have a real excuse to be concerned about her nails. We're a nation at war for crying out loud!

As for that scheming boss of yours, you just start being the Jim Halpert to his Dwight. May I recommend that you start stocking up on Jell-O?